Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Wrandom Wrister: Don't Want To Be Mocked As A Biter...? Don't Bite

"The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise... and Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required..."
--Monty Python and the Holy Grail





"Man, I REALLY hate the Bruins now after this."

All of the above have been used to describe the Boston Bruins' behavior in Game 3 last night, as at least a few Bruins offered fingers to Alex Burrows and the Canucks, in reference to Burrows' biting the gloved finger of Patrice Bergeron in Game 1.

Now I, for one, believe that waaaay too much has been made of the biting incident. The glove was still on. It's not like when Jordin Tootoo bit Tyler Wright's bare hand during a fight some years ago.

I'm not sure it makes Burrows any less of a sissy, but it is still not nearly as bad as the Tootoo/Wright incident. If it were me, I'd put his framed portrait up on the NHL's "Sissy Wall" next to Jordin Tootoo, and maybe fine him. Tops.

Don't want to be mocked as a biter? Don't bite people. Jordin? Alex? Talking to you....

Don't want to get a rep for dirty play? Don't go for the headshot. Todd? Romey? You listening?

Was the Bruins' behavior indeed "douchey"? Sure.

Was it stupid? Sure.

Was it unsportsmanlike? Right again.

Was it awful? Nah. I thought it was pretty hilarious.

Why? Well... think of it this way.

Are the Bruins really horrible, classless bullies?

Or are opposing fans really that thin-skinned?

Come on... the Bruins put up signs ripping on Lightning fans, and some blowhard on the radio gets a bunch of oversensitive sissies in a lather, so they harass the Bruins' marketing department to take the signs down.

Now, Canucks fans are getting oversensitive because of a wittle taunting among pwayers?


Yes, the behavior is not exactly gentlemanly.

Neither is biting, last I checked.

Neither is putting a shoulder into someone's head. The only things wounded on the Canucks were their fwagile wittle egos in an 8-1 shellacking. The Bruins' second-leading scorer Nathan Horton is out the rest of the series with a severe concussion.

What does Vancouver lose (if the NHL actually does something)? A third-pairing defenseman with one goal and a +3 in 14 games.

Ummmmm, yeah. Vancouver has nothing to complain about.

Now, conversely, the behavior was also incredibly stupid. It's "bulletin board material." It's a potential rallying point for the Canucks, much like the "Win It For Horty" attitude likely put some fight in the Bruins last night.

There are three or four more games of bad blood remaining on the ice, so...

Bruins fans, let the bite go....

Canucks fans, let the taunting go....

We're rubber, you're glue. Let's all just shut the hell up and enjoy the series.

Go Bruins!

Follow @MartiniHockey on Twitter....


  1. Thomas' leaping train of a check against Sedin *might* not have been the most "sportsmanlike" thing ever, but it was the *best* thing I've seen this season. TIM THOMAS: AMERICA'S HERO.

  2. Yeah, that WAS awesome. I hope I can find video of that to embed. Thanks for reading!