Friday, November 4, 2011

A Tale Of Two (Or One, Or Zero) Scotts...

Okay, we're not even talking fashionably late to the party. Some guy named Scott is walking into the party, an instant before you hear the skip... which instantly goes to that ppppppppppppppppppppp sound.

The party's over. This game that featured (some shadow of) the Blue Jackets(' potential) versus a hot-but-just-waiting-to-collapse-by-February Toronto Maple Leafs team was the "Electric Slide" of hockey.

What do I mean?

Take a journey with me, hockey fans. Think back to that last wedding you attended....

[I swear I have a point. Bear with me, okay?]

Remember when "Electric Slide" came on, and by the time those people returned to their seats, at least a quarter of the people were gone?

This is, of course, assuming the song was not followed by "Macarena." If you got that deadly double-play... half the room's gone before the bride and groom even cut the cake.

Mrs. Martini has a name for those songs: "Wedding Killers."

So... mathematically...

"Electric Slide" = "Macarena" = Some guy named Scott.

Which Scott goes first? The coach? Or the GM?

Beats the hell outta me.

Actually, I think the scenario goes something like, "You don't can the GM before the coach... unless the GM is Doug MacLe--

[Oh, no... I've mentioned "MacLemort" in consecutive posts, haven't I? It's over, isn't it...?]

But, I digress...

Some guy named Scott -- we'll call him "Scott A," to protect his anonymity -- is looking at a very finite tenure.

How finite? Well... a week from Saturday, former Jackets interim head coach Claude Noel might just be shaking hands with another interim head coach -- [oops, did I slip and hint at which Scott?] -- when Winnipeg comes to town, and the dialogue will go something like: "Been there, pal. Good luck."

I tried to talk sense into the masses, little more than 24 hours ago. "Wait until this team is intact." "Guys like Brass and Vermette just need to get their $#!+ together." "Firing the coach and/or GM is too rash." "Firing the GM 12 (now 13) games into the season will throw the organization into chaos."

You know what? Screw it. I give up. "Scott A" is gone very soon. "Scott H" -- again, protecting anonymity -- is likely not far behind.

And at this particular point, I'm not sure I can defend either of them much longer.

Example... the game was in second intermission, and I was paying my tab at a networking happy hour, when a guy who was a couple sheets to the wind...

...actually, about half of Macy's bedding department to the wind, asked me...

"So, whaddaya thhhhhink... is it time to trade away Ssssshhhhteve Nash?"

Now, I'm thinking the same thing as you at this point: I don't think anything the Dallas Mavericks do can help the Blue Jackets worth a crap while the NBA's in a lockout.

However, because I have no idea how hammered the dude is, or how hard he can punch... I play along, and explain that trading away Steve Nash doesn't help, and that a lot of guys (like Steve's distant cousin Rick, for instance) are committed to long-term (and monetarily-heavy) deals, which makes them quite unattractive for trade possibilities, and that changes are much more likely at the top, rather than on the ice.

I know. I don't want to believe it, either.

Because after all of the exciting things that happened since mid-June, firing a Scott or two -- well, it feels like giving up.

Giving up on the front office... on the team... on the season.

I don't know when it's actually going to happen, but let's just save some time... so long, coach... it has been more-or-less nice. I really would have loved to see what the fast-paced, aggressive style you were touting would have looked like.

Cheers.

Go Jackets!

[Please?]

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