Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Question Of Balls

I tried to stop her. I did.

And yet, at least part of it was my fault.

You see, as I was messaging Mrs. Martini on Tuesday afternoon to figure out our battle plan for the CBJ Draft Lottery Tweetup at the BW3's in Grandview, the topic of how the Draft Lottery was determined inevitably came up. She was just looking for details on the event, apparently confusing it with a Fantasy Draft or something:

ME: This is to determine whether Columbus even picks first in June.

HER: So it's not even the picking of people? We have to pick, just to see who picks when? Totally need to streamline this process.

It's with ping pong balls, etc.

Why does it always have to be balls?

Well, considering the Jackets have never been in this position before [coming in last and having the best shot at the #1 pick], so it's an excuse for us to drink.

Oh, I'd say they've [CBJ] been ****ed before...
snicker snicker snicker....
what - no comment?

what time is the puck off? [her term for the opening faceoff]
or when do the balls drop? snicker snicker snicker

Yep. That's my girl.

So, then the Moment of Truth came... and we fans learned that all that lack of effort during October and November...

...all that cynical #Fail4Nail bull$#!+...

...and all that pain CBJ fans endured, was officially for nothing.

The Moment From Hell...
The Columbus Blue Jackets couldn't even win the Draft Lottery.

She wondered aloud at our table, why this Oscar-style envelope opening, instead of "letting the balls drop?"

So she decided to pose the question to the panel of Steph Greegor from Fox Sports Ohio, Matt Wagner from The Cannon and Greg May from Full Mental Jackets.

Whether or not I supported rephrasing it for a room full of people (it did seem to get a laugh, considering the news we had just had presented to us)... she was asking a question I'm sure a great many of us are thinking.

Why don't they do this live? Why don't they have the whole ball machine thing going on? The league's generating revenue out the wazoo, supposedly, so... why not print some more balls, put them in a machine and show fans a little transparency in league operations?

I mean, come on... how many years did it take before Fox Sports Ohio finally got access to the Toronto War Room, so we could at least be fed a line that a disallowed CBJ goal came to something other than a coin flip?

Believe me, I totally understand that this will more than likely come off to fans in the league's other 29 markets as "here we go, a Jackets fan bitching about the process because the team sucked again this year."

But c'mon... the Edmonton Oilers get the first overall pick for the third freakin' year in a row?!?!?

You have to ask, because beyond any logical explanation or conspiracy theory... can the hockey gods really hate the city of Columbus THAT damn much?

An eight-game suspension on James Wisniewski after Cal Clutterbuck's Oscar-nominated dive?

Losing the backup goaltender before the regular season even starts?

Clockgate in L.A.?

The Jeff Carter debacle?

THAT damn much? Really?

If the Draft Lottery doesn't punctuate the year this team and its fans had... I don't know what does.

But that was pretty damn harsh.

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  1. Amen brother...

    What the hell, right ??


  2. From an Oilers fan..HAHA Suck it CBJ, can't even win the lotto..